When You Just Can't Believe This Happened to You

This evening I was surfing and found a cute little blog about five things that should not be in the house.  None of her picks topped mine.  I was recently out of town helping my daughter move for about ten days, on about day six I got the heart stopping news that the ranch hand had found out where our goat named Rocket, our outside dog named Patti, and our cat named Bluejay, (all of whom had been missing,) had been.  Someone had stolen the air-conditioner out of the window in the den, and let them in the house, then closed the window.  The ranch hand had gotten them out, and when I asked the condition of the house, after a long pause, he just replied, it was bad... 
real bad...

After cleaning for days now, I am ready for the professional goat odor removal man to come... It is less than a week til Thanksgiving and a house full of guests...

Evidently, they tried to make scrambled eggs... 

unsuccessfully tried to make scrambled eggs...

Bless her heart, Patti, (the dog,) only used the formal dining room as a potty.

Nothing was missing from our home, but note the 

 handgun from our gun cabinet left out on a sofa.

                                                                                   
They really enjoyed this recliner...

                                                                             

 Of course it isn't a party without chips!  They seemed to have enjoyed

                       the Cool Ranch Doritos best, they ate two bags of those.

 

There was so much more damage, but the worst was, 

Rocket ate my favorite hat!