Chapter 1

Chapter 1

"There are some among us who live in rooms of experience we can never enter”  John Steinbeck

He stood in the middle of the street, completely immobile, unable for some time to move.  There he struggled to suppress the words from his consciousness that he had just heard from his mother’s mouth.  Whatever small trespass he had committed was a lost thought.   Her words were so cruel, that for the rest of his life he would never recall what he had done that day, or any detail concerning the incident, only her words.   Those words she had shouted would sometimes threaten at the edges of his mind at the most unexpected times, usually when he was relaxing, and especially when he observed young families of soldiers.  He had been innocently playing some childhood game, being the child he was, and so seldom allowed to be.  She had come running from the house in a rage over something he had done or not done, and at the end of her chastisement, she wounded his child’s heart with a wound that would never quite heal.

Now For the Second Half of the Introduction to My Book

"I believe a strong woman may be stronger than a man, particularly if she happens to have love in her heart. I guess a loving woman is indestructible." John Steinbeck,  East of Eden. 

Her husband had achieved the rank of colonel when he was selected to command the 2nd Brigade.  His being educated at West Point, and the Army War College, was not the only reason she had known she would always be second place in his life when she had married him, just a few months before.  It was not only that his formal education had been in these bastions of military tradition and the teaching of the art and science of war.  It was his childhood, or rather, lack of childhood and parenting, that fostered his love and loyalty to the Army.  Where his biological parents had failed in every way to meet the needs of his childhood, he found stability and structure in the Army.  Beginning with first The Boy Scouts, and then JROTC in high school, he had found strong men of deep character to mentor him, and had developed direction for his life.  


The appointment to The Academy had offered him the chance of a destiny beyond the emotional and physical deficiencies and need he had known growing up in Louisiana.  Even more than that, his education had provided him with identity and purpose in his life.  He owed, in his mind, the United States Army in the way that a son owed his parents.   As he served, he had found in the Army the only security and reliability that did not fail him as two previous marriages, along with the neglected and abused childhood had.  Today, that relationship had revealed itself as fallible as all the others of his life had been, and a wound much like that of seeing for the first time weakness in a beloved parent, struck him.  However, being the man he was, the shell shock of the day’s events would only last momentarily.  The survival techniques, he had first learned as he hid in the closet of the war zone of his childhood home, and which the Army had hewn to professional levels, would rise up in him and in his mind a defense plan would be formulated.


That would not happen in the car as they drove to the hotel, because being the man of honor and dedication he was, his first reaction was to ruthlessly self examine.   He assumed his superior to be the leader that a two star general  should be, and he would continue for several months, to steadfastly believe him to be.  As he detailed to his wife the hour and a half long tirade leveled at him by MG Tim Harold, her mind turned over each sentence as he spoke it.  At first, she assumed that her husband’s take on the whole dressing down, had to be correct, because he was the one with twenty five years of dedicated service.  After he had continued to relate that he had obviously failed horribly in leadership for several minutes, as revealed by the general’s words, her mind began whispering, “wait a minute here.”   This made no sense to her, she thought, “I was at every Battle Assembly for the last year, I know the atmosphere, and I know from the Soldiers themselves, too much of their very positive thoughts.”  


While her FRG office was far down the hall, and she seldom had time to leave
t, Soldiers often drifted in and out on business, or just to chat.  The unit had not experienced an individual dedicated to this volunteer position, which she had assumed, and they seemed sincerely to appreciate her efforts.  The position had proved full of duties that required not only every hour of the Battle Assembly weekends, but several additional hours every week.  Still even at the far end of the hall, absorbed in her own work, she had developed a strong sense of the “command climate” of the unit.  


Their relationship had developed rapidly.  He had found in her a truly listening ear, and his basic trusting nature, which had left him vulnerable so many times in life, had at last found a citadel for his most guarded and tightly held thoughts.  He had spent many hours in their expression to her.  Beyond that, she had the benefit of the “pillow talk” of the man she so admired.  His personal concern for each member of his unit, and for Soldiers serving everywhere, were often his last words of the evening to her before those three that she held sweetest, as he drifted into the deep sleep of one possessed of a guiltless conscious.
 

At times, it was hard for her to know in her mind whether she loved him more, or admired him more.  Certainly, as she listened, it became more and more obvious that something about this entire incident was not quite right.  Also, events of the previous few months began to knit themselves together in the background of her sub-conscious.  She stopped him mid-sentence and told him so, and his eyes, which she had always found to appear so deeply searching when he looked at her, moved quickly back and forth.  As he intently stared at her, she knew his mind searched hers for the hope of validity in her assertion.   In this action, she found yet again deep admiration for this confident, highly intelligent, and accomplished man, who so faithfully served, that he would consider that the allegations leveled at him might contain merit.  As admiration swept over her, in equal measure love surged in her heart, and the two emotions struggled for their balanced places in her mind.  Perhaps she did admire him even more than she loved him, her heart answered quickly; she loved him more.

Washington D.C for a Cause

The Army Professional, As Defined By the Army

Revised Typology of Membership in the Army Profession

The six essential characteristics of the Army Profession are defined as:

1. Trust: with the American people

2. Trustworthiness: in all internal and institution-to-individual relationships, and externally to all mission partners

3. Military expertise: in the ethical design, generation, support and application of combat power

4. Esprit de Corps: uniting our members in a common bond that will prevail against all odds

5. Honorable Service: reflecting an institutional ethic grounded in the nation’s values and the Army’s duty to the Republic

6. Stewardship of the Profession: the Army self-polices all domains of its professional essence. Effective stewardship results in the Army being prepared for future conflicts with the right practices and expert knowledge.

This list of aspirations is taken  from the Annual Report, dated April 2, 2012 titled  "US Army Training and Doctrine Command."  

I think it is what leadership is shooting for...

West Point... Hellloooo, Are You There?

Every once in a while, I write to West Point, never hear back from them... but I keep writing...  West Point is where the ethics of the Army is held accountable.  West Point is where committees of general officers meet and talk about the state of ethics in the Army.  Notice I said talk about the state of ethics in the Army.  I don't think they are doing a good job, those committees aren't the least bit concerned with my opinion of course, but that won't stop me from expressing my opinion.  I've decided to make my letters public from here on out.
 

To Whom it May Concern, and I Certainly Do Hope it Sincerely Concerns Someone,

My name is Debra LeCompte, and my husband is COL (RET) Randy LeCompte, an honor graduate of West Point, (top five percent of the class of 1981.)  My husband would love to attend his 31st reunion this year, but is currently serving with the State Department in Iraq in the civilian sector.  My father and grand-father were Soldiers as well, my daughter was a Soldier, and she is now serving in the civilian sector in Germany where she lives with our two grand-daughters as her husband serves in Afghanistan.  Our other son-in-law was blown off a recon vehicle in 2003 in Iraq, and can no longer serve, but he would give everything in him to do so.

My family, especially my husband, has been recipients of the all that is good in the Army.  We are better as a family because of the Army, as my husband says, "the Army gives one skills, identity, and purposeful living."  We have all also been the recipients of very bad things from the Army because of the problem of ethics in the Army.  The Academy is not achieving it's goals of teaching ethics.  The Army is not, because of the incestuous relationships involved in its' "self-policing," truly promoting ethics.  I don't think anyone who reads this, (if anyone does,) can with any honesty argue that point.

We had a young intern from West Point in our home for dinner while my husband was still employed with BAE Systems, as was our custom with each of the interns who spent part of their summer in the Sealy, Texas plant.  My husband being the man he is, posed the question, "So, which of the Army Values do you think is the most important?"  For a couple of minutes the young man could not answer, he couldn't remember any of the seven values, then he at first said, "leadership."  My husband reminded him that was an  acronym used in another set of characteristics promoted by the Army.   Finally the young man said loyalty.  That is a frequent answer among Soldiers.  Both my husband and I disagree with this answer every time we hear it , for so many times a Soldier means by that response loyalty to his unit or to a commander.  There are times, more frequently than I would like to acknowledge, when that is not the honorable or right thing to do.  In order for loyalty to be worthy of first mention, it should be loyalty to honor and doing the right thing.  Too many times loyalty in the Army is affected by who does your OER, honor never is.

When a firstie can't tell a retired colonel who earned a Bronze Star in Afghanistan what the Seven Army Values are.... your ethics training is a monumental failure in my opinion.  That is without mentioning the First Sergeant with 19 years in, who by all reports was an outstanding mentor and man of honor, who was sleeping on the floor of a Garland, Texas jail, all because he came up against corrupt command.  I can't mention every miscarriage of honor that I have knowledge of, there are too many innocent people involved.  My great sorrow is I am but a grain of sand in the scheme of the Army Family, but I know of dozens of atrocities.  It is like rats, for every instance of lack of honor that I know of, there are a hundred I am not aware of.  Even though I know of the rats, like my husband, I love the Army, the real Army, the one that belongs to the hearts of those who nobly serve, and I will fight for the honor, integrity, and reputation of that Band of Brothers, (and Sisters,) until the day I die.  I believe there is an answer to this breakdown in ethics.

The answer West Point is ACCOUNTABILITY.  That accountability should begin with generals, not cadets.  Every time self serving corruption prevails, those who would serve with integrity are driven away.  Who, of any character,  wants to associate with lack of integrity?  Who wants to risk their own career and reputation to those lacking integrity?  Just as those who would serve with honor are driven away, those lacking in it are reinforced in behavior which is dishonorable.  They receive the message you have to "go along to get along."  No matter who you are, what your rank, the answer is ACCOUNTABILITY.  It only exists when those controlling the "self policing" are possessed of honor.  As the guardians of the honor of the United States Army those meetings where accountability by individuals is weighed and measured in the balance must be populated by men and women of honor and the COURAGE to execute The Code of Military Justice.  Surely, you can scrape together enough general officers with moral courage to fill the positions on those committees?

West Point, you are accountable for a firstie who doesn't know The Seven Army Values as he enters his senior year.  A web site about honor and integrity won't do it, all the training, classes, and instruction in the world, won't do it, only accountability without bias, favor, or self serving will forge a force where honor and integrity are the norm, not the exception.  When every Soldier believes and knows that lack of honor will not be tolerated under any circumstances, when they know power mongering will be met with swift and sure justice, and lying is unacceptable and will result in dire consequences, will honor and integrity, and a force devoted to The Seven Army Values prevail.

I have been very plain spoken, and in the past it has not done me a bit of good.  Well, there was the commander of the First Sergeant sleeping on the jail floor who was relieved of command, but please understand, I speak plainly because of my devotion to, and respect of all those who live "uncommon lives."  Their families as well depend upon the honor of leadership.  I wish the Academy, The Army, and every Soldier serving only the  best.  It is owed to them.

With Respect and Sincerity,

Debra LeCompte

Which Ideals and Principles Will Endure

 Our son Jared who went to Afghanistan and Iraq twice working as an electrician.

 An account on a web site titled Foreign Policy, which was written by a now retired colonel, who last served with the Army Reserves, was pointed out to me recently.  It was yet another story of wrong doing by the Army.  As you will be able to tell if you follow the link to the site, I am a very strong supporter of the Army and those who serve.  Not so much of a fan of those who lead at the top however, so this story really caught my attention.

 Our daughter Beth who served for 8 years in the Texas National Guard and the Army, with our two grand-daughters waiting for my son-in-law to return from his third deployment to Afghanistan.  He has deployed also to Iraq and Korea during the last 10 years.

I felt an old anger surge, to borrow a current military term.  I know of more and more of these instances of leadership failure, and they trouble me so deeply.  Almost every good Soldier I know has a story like this to share.  Either it happened to the Soldier, or they have observed it happen to someone else and felt shaken to their core.  Part of the problem I think is how one of the Seven Army Values is taught.  If you aren't familiar with the Seven Army Values, they are worthy guideposts for anyone's life, and taught to every recruit.  The one that is most often listed by Soldiers as of greatest importance is loyalty, and in all their materials the Army always lists loyalty first.  I agree with that, but not as many serving interpret loyalty as devotion to all things honorable first and foremost, they want to make it about individuals who might be doing questionable things.  A Soldier can get the impression that he or she is to turn a blind eye to wrongdoing, in loyal support of leadership.  After all, in most of the "military movies" that is important of all the heroes.  Certainly if every order is questioned by every Soldier, the military mission cannot go forward.  I'm talking about something else, I'm talking about situations which come to light that become clear breaches of ethics, flagrant in fact.  They are almost always orchestrated by leadership who fear no accountability, indicating the behavior is a demonstration of power mongering, for whatever reason.  In fact sometimes it appears to be solely for the amusement of that abuser.  What is most likely the reason is leadership that is self serving in nature, and the career of the individual is at stake.Without honor as its' foundation, loyalty is no longer a virtue.  Many times it is taken as a sort of "what happens in the Army, stays in the Army" sort of deal.  That isn't what constitutes honorable loyalty to me. The Army's official web site states it this way:

Loyalty

Bear true faith and allegiance to the U.S. Constitution, the Army, your unit and other Soldiers. Bearing true faith and allegiance is a matter of believing in and devoting yourself to something or someone. A loyal Soldier is one who supports the leadership and stands up for fellow Soldiers. By wearing the uniform of the U.S. Army you are expressing your loyalty. And by doing your share, you show your loyalty to your unit.    http://www.army.mil/values/index.html

 If a Soldier is taught to look the other way, or hide wrong doing as a part of the context of "loyalty" it surely creates an ethical dilemma that the other six values cannot support.  If it is taught that as a Soldier you accept wrong justice for yourself or another Soldier, again the other six values become tainted and invalid.

Our daughter and son-in-law who was seriously wounded in 2003 in Iraq, and can no longer serve.

Here is how the official Army site defines the other six values:

Duty

Fulfill your obligations. Doing your duty means more than carrying out your assigned tasks. Duty means being able to accomplish tasks as part of a team. The work of the U.S. Army is a complex combination of missions, tasks and responsibilities — all in constant motion. Our work entails building one assignment onto another. You fulfill your obligations as a part of your unit every time you resist the temptation to take “shortcuts” that might undermine the integrity of the final product.

Respect

Treat people as they should be treated. In the Soldier’s Code, we pledge to “treat others with dignity and respect while expecting others to do the same.” Respect is what allows us to appreciate the best in other people. Respect is trusting that all people have done their jobs and fulfilled their duty. And self-respect is a vital ingredient with the Army value of respect, which results from knowing you have put forth your best effort. The Army is one team and each of us has something to contribute.

Selfless Service

Put the welfare of the nation, the Army and your subordinates before your own. Selfless service is larger than just one person. In serving your country, you are doing your duty loyally without thought of recognition or gain. The basic building block of selfless service is the commitment of each team member to go a little further, endure a little longer, and look a little closer to see how he or she can add to the effort.

Honor

Live up to Army values. The nation’s highest military award is The Medal of Honor. This award goes to Soldiers who make honor a matter of daily living — Soldiers who develop the habit of being honorable, and solidify that habit with every value choice they make. Honor is a matter of carrying out, acting, and living the values of respect, duty, loyalty, selfless service, integrity and personal courage in everything you do.

Integrity

Do what’s right, legally and morally. Integrity is a quality you develop by adhering to moral principles. It requires that you do and say nothing that deceives others. As your integrity grows, so does the trust others place in you. The more choices you make based on integrity, the more this highly prized value will affect your relationships with family and friends, and, finally, the fundamental acceptance of yourself.

Personal Courage

Face fear, danger or adversity (physical or moral). Personal courage has long been associated with our Army. With physical courage, it is a matter of enduring physical duress and at times risking personal safety. Facing moral fear or adversity may be a long, slow process of continuing forward on the right path, especially if taking those actions is not popular with others. You can build your personal courage by daily standing up for and acting upon the things that you know are honorable.

  

 In this photo Soldiers and family members applaud the team at Family Day that won the Hoo-ah Contest.  The children of these Soldiers are holding up the trophy the team won.  Family members should always be able to take pride in the service of their loved one, and be able to count on the integrity of the leadership of the Army at every level.  I don't think any of us would surrender our loved one willing to leadership that reflected anything less than absolute devotion to the Seven Army Values.  Never should any family member find themselves in fear of what corrupt leadership has the ability to do with the power afforded them.

I fundamentally disagree with the UCMJ.  I am but a grain of sand on the beach of service in the Army, and I have personal knowledge of enough abuse of power through use of UCMJ that it must be rampant, and unchallenged everywhere.  There is an old saying, for every rat you see, there are fifty you don't see.  Why does the military think that ordinary people could not understand those Seven Army Values, and apply justice according to those principles?  Why is it that only the military can judge the actions of those in the military?  That is a very presumptuous stance, that frankly appears to work in favor of those in high places wishing to protect themselves and their careers.

At a West Point reunion several years ago with my husband's class of 1981 in a meeting with the class members and the then Commandant of the Academy, my husband asked of the Commandant if he had noted any discrepancies in the actual administration of UCMJ.  I will never forget knowing what a great man was at the helm of that institution when he replied without anything but a second of silence, "Yes, I have, and I cannot get support from the generals to change that."  What honesty, what moral courage, he too placed himself and his career in jeopardy when he dared to make such an honest answer to my husband and the class of 1981.  West Point and a committee of generals is the seat of authority concerning maintaining the standards of all things and all matters of the honor and integrity of the United States Army.  The Commandant is the chairman of that committee.  The enemy is within.

 

 Austin County Rodeo Parade, Bellville, Texas, 1st Place Float.

What follows is a link to the site I went to, curious about the experience of yet another who has faithfully served.  Also I have included an edited for grammar version of my last entry in the discussion.  This discussion remains for me of the utmost importance.  It should be to you as well.


 http://ricks.foreignpolicy.com/posts/2012/07/25/toms_all_for_relief_but_here_s_the_story_of_how_i_got_relieved_unfairly_in_iraq#lf_com


This was my last entry:

Larry, for my son, fixing those electrical issues was about his birthright, a privilege which there are no words to describe, about being a citizen of the greatest nation the world has ever known, flaws and all.  It was about being an American.  It was about the debt he feels he owes to those who will stand the wall of freedom for every citizen in this country.  (They protect those who are ill informed as to the threats to our survival as a nation, those who cheat, lie, and are without values, just as they protect their own children and loved ones, we all share the benefits of their sacrifices, fools, crooks, scoundrels and all.)  

I still work with these men and women and their families every day.  We have established a small retreat at our little ranch in Texas, and they come from Ft.Hood, Ft. Sam Houston, and really from all over the country.  They stay in our little cabins, sit on our porch, fish, canoe, ride horses, I feed them my best home cooking, our latest little escape for the girly girls among our military families, the Barbie Barn, and I listen as they tell me of their sacrifices.  They really won't readily do that except to one of their own.  They inspire me every day, and break my heart at their stories of failed leadership.  I believe that failed leadership is such a prime factor in PTSD.  I have thoroughly researched all the academic work on PTSD, do so daily for the latest science, and have years of experience with those who suffer from it, beginning with 12 years of raising foster children.  

  Some of my favorite Veterans

 My husband has always had a mantra which motivated his pursuit of excellence, "If the man in front of me can do it, so can I."  He was mentored under generals early in his career he would have followed to hell and back, even if he knew the "back" part wasn't happening, and they were men a man could confidently follow.  He will tell anyone he owes the blessings of his life to God's using the United States Army to bring them to him.  He still believes he owes that organization unyielding support, and like you he retired after 30 years.  You are standing for the honor not only of yourself, but the United States Army.

 I will never forget the pain I saw my husband experience as he discovered just how corrupt "the man in front of him" could be.  That can break a true Soldier...  or as in his and your case, refine him as fire does gold.  Never give up your pursuit of justice, my husband will not.  You guys are men the enemy within do not understand, because it is not in your best interest to pursue these matters, it will only bring you trouble and retribution.   They are only motivated by self-interest, and don't even have the capability of understanding your "rabid bulldog" refusal to give in.  What encourages me so is that the fundamental principles West Point seeks to instill in its graduates are alive and well in at least two men, and as my personal experience has taught me, hundreds of thousands of others who are looking for just such men and women to follow.  Even in retirement, your influence will bring the battle to the enemy within, give strength to those who are facing the same type of corruption, and defend the constitution.  My husband says not everyone who is "IN" the Army, "BELONGS" to that  band of brothers and sisters... the real Army... they are just "paid government employees."  The difference is too vast for words.  The Army belongs to those whose souls are pledged to the Seven Army Values.  In a society where ideals like those you embrace are considered "cheesy," and not really to exist anywhere, men such as you and that other 06 you have served with, know them to be the hope of humanity.   Honor, devotion to sacred duty, and a steel determination that no matter how they are viewed, or by whom, or what their devotion brings, they will stand, separates you from so many, and gives young Soldiers, "the man in front of me.". 

My son addressed ever shower he found because he is a proud American, not proud of our corruption and the corrupted, but proud of the values our country was founded on, proud of the principles that those men and women of long ago established as our corner stone, which caused them to write the foundational document where the words are found, "that all men are created equal, endowed be their Creator with certain inalienable rights."  That document is still worth the greatest of sacrifices to defend, devoted duty to, no matter what enemy, whether they are within or without, and defending no matter what the cost, as you, my husband, and men and women through its’ history have pledged, to the death

As the sign on the gate says at our little ranch, "even a Soldier needs a quiet place to rest."  May I extend to you our invitation to visit the ranch soon.  Hospitality has always been my greatest talent, we will treat you well.  So load up the family, make the trip, rest, talk, and find that bond that those who have never served, can never understand.  While those young brave men who rout out the enemy are the tip of the spear,  men and women such as yourself  are the staff that gives it strength and direction, and without that, their efforts are wasted.  The country is still in need of your services, your voice, and your dedication.  The porch light is always on, and the flag always flies.  I think you know where to find us.  Best regards to you and yours.  Soldier on.

The Most Important Thing I Will Ever Post., Army Ethics

If you never follow another link on a computer, this is a site you should look at!!!

http://cape.army.mil/

It has to do with the official development of professional ethics in the United States Army, and is based at West Point.

Sometime Back I Found a Significant Army Study about Leadership

At times I become so discouraged and jaded concerning the leadership of the Army that paranoia takes over completely and I begin to doubt that there is anyone anywhere near the top who can be counted as anything but military mafia heads.  I know that seems a strong and irresponsible statement, but in case you don't fully understand what I am saying, or think I am just another ranting lunatic, I mean in the silent moments of the darkness of night I lay awake praying the most urgent and pressing requests of my heart, that my husband stays safe from the enemy... and I am referring to "the enemy within."  I have found this enemy to be powerful beyond anything I could have imagined even five years ago, and so pervasive that in recent weeks I have considered divorcing the institution known as The United States Army, and pledging my loyalties solely to those honorable men and women, and their families who stand in the gap everyday for me and mine.   

If you serve, have served, or reap the benefits of those who serve, (of course that takes in every citizen in the world, ) I urge you to carefully read this material referenced, and I paste my own comment in response to having read the findings of this study, which I feel is the most critically important issues our country, and in fact the world faces today, the credibility of  The United States Military in reference to duty, honor, country....

Guest Blog

This blog was established to provide a forum where military personnel and civilians can publish posts that pertain to military affairs.

Provide Me Your Perspectives

In the past eight years plus our Army has transformed its organization, how it fights across the spectrum of conflict, and how we create and define mission success.  From where I sit, it has been an amazing performance, but I wonder about the long term impact persistent conflict is having on our Army, our shared values, and our professional military culture.

I am interested in gaining your perspectives on how eight years of war, modularity, decentralized operations, and ARFORGEN have affected our core leadership attributes. I believe that a professional dialogue is essential to clarifying the issues we need to address to ensure the future health of our Army.
GEN Pete Chiarelli, Vice Chief of Staff of the Army

Only published comments... Feb 08 2010, 07:45 PM by GEN Chiarelli Filed under: VCSA, Perspectives, Persistent Conflict

Debra LeCompte said:

I am not a member of the military, but I have served and sacrificed.  My husband, Colonel Randy LeCompte, has served in the Army for the past 29 years and is currently deployed to Afghanistan.  One of my daughter's was in the Army for 8 years,  she currently works in the civilian sector, leaving the Army after 9/11 due to concern that both she and her husband would be deployed at the same time.  I have watched her and our two grand-daughters cope with multiple deployments, and in June their whole family will leave for a three year tour in Germany.  Our 16 year old son is seeking an appointment to the Air Force Academy.

We also have another son-in-law who was blown off a tank he was refueling and then shot in the shoulder; this happened in 2003 in Iraq.  He has a 45% disability and would give anything to be allowed to return to the Army today.

My husband had a difficult upbringing, coming from an abusive home without many resources.  He will tell anyone that the Lord used the United States Army to raise him and give him most of the opportunities of his life.  He received an appointment to West Point, and graduated in the top five percent of his class and is a graduate of the Army War College.  In his civilian position he serves as Program Manager for the Caimon, the second generation MRAP produced by BAE Systems.  My father served in World War II, and my grand-father in World War I.  I will tell anyone that life as a family in the military offers so many more positives than negatives.  What better principles are there to raise children by than those 7 Army Values?  What better model for successful family living can there be than that of the "Army Family."  My husband gives a recruitment speech where he advises that the Army can give and individual SIP, skills, identity, and purpose.  It can do the same for a family.  The Army provides resources and opportunities not only to the Soldier, but to the Soldier's entire family.  It also requires those sacrifices I mentioned before.

I have worked extensively in Family Readiness and have found it to be one of the most rewarding experiences of my life.  I have found it so because of the opportunity it afforded me to come to know so many uncommon men and women in service to this country.  Their families, when successful, and not all military families are, are made up of incredible men, women, and children.  I have had the opportunity to come to know them very well also. I  feel that the families of career Soldiers serve and sacrifice with the same measure that their Soldiers do.  It is not the same service and sacrifice, however it is of the same value.

As in all organizations and endeavors, there are those who serve always from a place of excellence, some middle grounders, and some who should not even be there.  However, I have found that those ratios are not the same as your ordinary civilian work place.  There is a much higher percentage of Soldiers who serve with a consistent excellence and the mind set of selfless commitment to honor and integrity.  Sadly, one of the rare, but still present, personality types drawn to military service is the "school yard bully" type.

I have noted that a good Soldier will perform any mission, anywhere, whether he/she is provided the resources with which to do it or not, and ask for only two things: leadership that they can confidently follow, and that their families be taken care of.

Even though I am not in the military, the transformation has affected my life profoundly.  I have some observations, life experiences actually, which I would like to pass on to you.

An effective, organized and continuous FRG can be make a huge impact on whether a military family is successful or not.  That kind of FRG only happens with the complete and total support and commitment of the commander.  I have seen commanders who hold FRG in little regard, with the attitude that it is a regulatory obligation that is a waste of time.  I make that statement from personal observation and from listening to the comment of hundreds of FRG leaders in training events across the nation.  I also make that statement from personal experience.  My daughter, who spent 8 years in the Army, is married to a Soldier, and has spent the last 14 yeas at Ft. Hood as a military family first heard of Military One Source from me, long after she should have.  In the three deployments her family has been through in the last 6 years, she has had little to no support from FRG or the rear detachment.  She has gotten her support from friends and our family, it has been a struggle, but their family has prevailed and come through stronger each time.  That is not always the case.  Go to facebook and the Army Wives group and listen to thousands of young Army wives and the situations and challenges they and their young families are facing.  The FRG model works... it is a tremendous tool for training these young families for successful living, even during deployments.  HOWEVER IT MUST HAVE THE COMPLETE SANCTION, AND SUPPORT OF THE COMMANDER, AND THE COMMANDER'S COMMITMENT TO ACHIEVING EXCELLENCE IN HIS/HER FRG ORGANIZATION.  IT MUST ALSO HAVE THE UNIT RESOURCES COVERED IN THE REGS, PLUS THE BEST LEADERSHIP THE COMMANDER CAN FIND.  A COMMANDERS ATTITUDE TOWARD FRG WILL GREATLY INFLUENCE THE LEVEL OF PARTICIPATION AND THE QUALITY OF THE FRG ORGANIZATION.

Soldiers, without exception come from families, and when their service is completed, if they still have one, they return to families.  Sometimes they return as the families sent them, and sometimes they return with wounds both visible and wounds of the heart, and sometimes a family makes that complete sacrifice, and they return borne on the shoulders of their brothers, a fallen hero.  A Soldier does not experience success and fulfillment unless his or her family is taken care of.

The other thing a Soldier must have is leadership that they know they can trust to lead them only from a place of honor, from a complete commitment to the Army Values.  They need to know them to be fair, honest, and trustworthy.  Again, the finest men and women I have known in my lifetime are numbered among Soldiers, and there are far more of them than the other kind.  But I have encountered, self serving, lying, and dangerous people, who will stop at nothing to gain their own agenda.  It has been my observation that those persons can be in extremely high positions of power and can make or break a Soldier, and wield their power in the most destructive ways.  They use the 15-6 process, because the process allows them to, in down right illegal ways.  In the past four years I have personally encountered 8 Soldiers who were suicidal.  In each of those persons, the claim was made of "bad command."  Two of them committed suicide.  I am a grain of sand in my connection to the Army... IN FOUR YEARS I HAVE ENCOUNTERED 8 SOLDIERS!  That is an average of 2 a year!  Soldiers seem to be able to withstand a girl friend running off with their money, the separations, the hardships of war... but if you add... "bad command," which causes them to question if the service and sacrifice has been made under the leadership of someone of less that honorable intent, they question everything, and sometimes come up with the wrong answer.  The thing that perpetuates "bad leadership" is the Army's reluctance to own up to a leader's failure.  In fear of embarrassing the Army, things get swept under the rug, no one wants to risk their career to stand in moral courage against this cancer.  It isn't a Soldier fighting against the Army, it is a Soldier fighting for the Army, for those values, for the honor of the Army, that builds the confidence of a Soldier to follow.  The system must be made less capable of misuse, and more accountable to itself.  The Army monitors it's own integrity, and leadership MUST give due diligence to this fundamental task in order to keep from discouraging those Soldiers of the caliber that are most desirable and keeping them from walking away.  If they do not, soon the bottom of the barrel folks will be the norm.

I can tell the story of a 19 year service Soldier sleeping on the floor of a jail in Garland, Texas, because of failed leadership.  I can tell the story of a friend's husband who questioned unethical behavior and found himself the subject of a 15-6 and death threats while serving in Afghanistan.  There are so many more.  One of these situations is too many.  That it has happened in front of me, with family members reaching out to me for help has given me pause.... I often wonder what feelings it caused in those Soldiers watching these events, in those family members experiencing this betrayal by the Army.  I do not know what the solution is, but I find the Army so good at being the emperor with no clothes.

Finally I would like to say to each of the men and women who have posted here, and to you Sir for being the leader I so readily see you being, thank you for your service.  Our country owes each of you a debt that cannot ever be paid in full.  Soldier on, for the sake of us all.

Then I had the nerve to post a second post... they posted that one to...

Debra LeCompte said:

Nate Nelsen.... you nailed it.  I would ask you to reconsider your decision.  You are the kind of man of moral courage who can make a difference.  The Army needs you, those Soldiers who will ruck-up and head off to war need you.  As the mother of a Soldier, the wife of a Soldier, I need to know men like you are on the job.  If men like you leave, we must trust those we love most to the leadership you speak of, and it doesn't stop at the company level.  If you won't stay and go the distance, who will?  I know too well the stress it brings, the risk it brings... but I will stand behind you personally, and I know others who will too.  They have called me in the middle of the night, and even I have been effective, and I'm a nobody.  Please reconsider, and what ever your decision, thank you so much for your service, I personally feel a debt I know the rest of the country shares.  We will forever be grateful for what you have already given.  Hoo-ah Sir!

February 26, 2010 12:46 AM 

Debra LeCompte said:

Bob King, I read the article you referenced in the Washington Post.  It conflicts me somewhat.  I have recognized, and in a couple of cases, experienced two distinct types of command failure.  Any human can make a mistake in judgment which causes tragic consequences, all of us fall in that category.  When it is found that a leader makes a mistake in judgment, when there was no way to judge what the outcome would be before a decision was made by that commander, how can the Army choose to act in discipline?  When that commander carefully gathered information, sought input from appropriate resources and experts, and sometimes time constraints make that almost impossible, and hesitation guarantees failure, and the that commander makes and carries out a decision, I believe they should have the full backing of the Army.  I just can't see if he or she makes a mistake in that decision process, that there be negative consequences invoked in the form of punishment from the Army, the investigation process itself will be punitive for any good Soldier.  The idea that he or she might have made a decision that harmed a Soldier, to a good commander is so painful that nothing the Army can do to them comes close to what their own mind does to them.
There is another kind of commander, the kind Nate Nelsen references in his comment above.  Much of the damage they do has nothing to do with being in a combat zone and under the gun.  When that type of "command failure" occurs it is the result of a power monger using his or her power to the detriment of the Army and all who serve.  Usually threat, implied or spoken is involved, and that threat is directed at an individual Soldier, but almost always other Soldiers are drawn in by "toxic command," in order to gain submission of the individual.  When there is a clear tolerance of the power monger, it takes moral courage that is of suicidal nature to stand against the power monger.  Facts and evidence do not matter, all involved understand what the outcome will be, and the targeted Soldier is often advised... just let it go, take your licks, don't risk your career.  Each time that happens in even the most insignificant situation... you feed the monster.  Junior officers hear the message, this is acceptable and tolerated behavior.  Everyone who has any knowledge of the situation sustains injury.  In a profession where those in charge have the job, power, and sanction of the Army and the country, to order the taking of a human life in the act of war, all who are subject to their authority, or can view their authority and how they use it, need to be absolutely certain that their character and honor are beyond question.  If that is the case, and mistakes are made that result in harm that could have been avoided, but the judgment of that leader whose character and honor are beyond question caused the harm... nothing will be gained by their punishment.  Every officer or leader worth anything knows the position they place themselves in and the risk of losing everything with a single wrong decision that exists.  It is that calculating, self serving, manipulative, career advancing "leader" who will malign, and yes, even for entertainment, deliberately cause harm to someone under, OR ABOVE him or her, for any reason, that causes good Soldiers to think to themselves... "I'm out of here before I am the next victim."
Sometimes, before a good Soldier can realize what is happening, they are trapped by one of these individuals, falsely accused, and to that Soldier it feels like the Army is betraying them.  That isn't the case, it is the toxic Soldier who doing so, causing them harm, and doing so deliberately for the cause of a personal agenda.  However, when the Army fails in the process of the "investigation" to do due diligence, and allows even the most minor abuse of power, there indeed is leadership failure.  Again, any time good Soldiers observe this type of behavior and failure of the "Army system" to REALLY explore facts and REALLY judge justly the situation, whether they are involved or not, many will leave, too disappointed and fearful of their own encounter with toxic leadership.
As I sit and type here and recall the look and words of Soldiers whom I have encountered who have experienced the shell shock of this type of leadership failure and assault by the "enemy within," a sadness and despair floods over me at remembering the broken men and women I have seen.  With one exception, they each admitted to suicidal thoughts.  There is a young man who haunts me, he took his life, and I can not prove why, but I know why.  I have tried to call legal attention to this death, and the refusal to investigate stands as irrefutable evidence to me of the deliberate tolerance of toxic leadership by the Army.  As the mother of a Soldier, as the daughter of a Soldier, as the grand-daughter of a Soldier, as the wife of a Soldier, this toxic leadership is intolerable.  The Army belongs to good Soldiers, those who bring honor and respect to the Army, and the FIRST obligation of the Army is for every Soldier who has authority over another to ensure that the rules are enforced without regard to WHO a Soldier is, but to WHAT they are.  Investigations should be conducted from the top down, not the bottom up when something has gone wrong, because the top always has the most power and authority to prevent wrong doing.  When a toxic leader exists... someone had a part in promoting them, it then is a case of accountability.  If my statements make this blog, it will be a clear indication things are moving in a right and honorable direction, and it will be due to the kind of leadership that can be trusted, that is honorable, accountable, and when followed, a Soldier is ensured of moving for the benefit of our country, our people, and the good of mankind, as well as it can be determined by the best of the best.  Mothers, fathers, husbands, wives, children, and all who love Soldiers, can confidently loan them to the service of the Army, assured that if it cost us what we value most, it will have been a worthy act of valor that took the Soldier we love.  I love all that the Army stands for, I have the greatest admiration for those who take upon themselves the responsibility to lead the great men and women who stand in the defense of democracy and each of us, who sacrifice, and who are unable to do anything but the right thing. May God grant you wisdom, moral courage, and grace as you serve.

February 27, 2010 10:28 PM