I Behaved Very Badly Today

I behaved badly today, very badly... and the worse part was, I did not regret it, so I was in real trouble with the Lord.  I called her a bi..ch, right out loud in public.  I have never in my life done that... but it was the last straw, and a situation where I knew I was going to mistreated before I went in the office.  I have had many difficulties in that office.

 

 I need to give you a little background of where I have been in my personal life in the last ten days.  I found out it will be another year before I will live with my husband again. It has already been four years since he deployed with the United States Army, spent two years in the Middle East with that organization, and then went to work with the State Department in the same country.  No woman ever loved a man as much as I love him.  Yet I know he is the man for the job.   

I am newly diagnosed with diabetes just this week, (that explains a lot about why I have been feeling so badly.)  Even with double my blood pressure medication, I have been running 180 over 100,... not good, it usually runs 110 over 70.  One of our credit card numbers was stolen, and it was so stressful to straighten that out.   I had to postpone my hand surgery because of the diabetes.  I really need that done, I am sustaining nerve damage, and my hands are very important to me.  Not to mention, I can no longer tear open a ketchup package, not that I can have ketchup any more.  I have to have plastic joints put in to replace those eaten away by the inflammation of Ankylosing Spondylitis, plus steel cables to replace the stretched out ligaments and tendons, carpel tunnel repair, and a cyst drained.  Periodically I am spiking a temp of about 100, and I have no explanation for that.  I had a wreck and I am without a vehicle, and someone came on our property while I was out of town and stole things, and I think they took my dog, and that was why it took her 12 days to get back home. She isn't in good shape. I still haven't gotten the bath tub that the John Moore company installed, installed properly, nor the sink installed, (by the way, there is no John Moore.)  I have already paid for this.  They really messed up the expensive bath tub and tub surround I bought and paid for.  I stepped on a rose bush branch I had trimmed yesterday while I was barefoot taking out the trash, and I needed to have three thorns dug out of my left foot.  They have been bombing the country my husband is in non stop... many are dead, and many are injured; this is a tremendous stress to me.

I had to arrange for a ride to the doctor's office when it was convenient for my friend to provide it, and so at about 4:30 I arrived at my physician's, which advertizes  its' hours as being 8:00 am until 5:00 pm.  I needed to get my blood sugar tested and a medication change for the blood pressure, diabetic medication, and the three thorns dug out of the bottom of my foot.  That was when the trouble began with the office manager.  I always have problems from this office manager, and I am a laid back kind of person.  I know you all know the type of woman I am speaking of.  She is in charge of a small empire, and she knows it.

When I arrived the waiting room was empty and I spoke to the woman at the desk.  I asked if the doctor was still there, she replied yes.  I told her I wanted to see the doctor, and she asked me why.  I told her about the blood sugar problems and and the thorns.  She asked me what the blood sugars were.  I told her 301 fasting this morning and 190 at 1:00 pm after lunch.  She wrote the numbers down on a sticky note and disappeared with the announcement, "just a moment please."  

I went and sat down, because just getting ready, and then to the appointment had exhausted me.  The prim short haired woman with glasses who is the office manager called me to the window.  She repeated the questions about the blood sugar.  I repeated the answers.  She then asked me why I didn't come earlier, and I explained the car situation.  She then said, "Well, why didn't you not call us at 1:00 pm?"  That was when she made my day... and I messed up...  I asked her, "Why, were you going to send an ambulance for me?"  She said, "No, we would have gotten your chart out and had it ready when you got here."  I restrained myself from asking, "Don't you have them in alphabetical order?"  She told me the doctor had someplace he was going today and had to be out of the office on time.  I told her I would go to the emergency room.  She then began insisting no, I would be seen, and the Grand Empress pushed the button opening the door, and granted me access to her Wizard.

When I saw the doctor I insisted on telling him what had happened.  He really didn't want to hear it, but I insisted.  I screamed like a little girl, and bawled like a child when he used the 10 gauge needle to dig out the thorns out of the bottom of my foot, probably in revenge for my calling his office manager a "bi.ch."  I apologized to the doctor for keeping him when he had somewhere he was going.  He told me he wasn't going anywhere but to the hospital to make rounds, and then home.  Ah ha!  I despise lying, really despise it!

When I went to leave the office manager checked me out.  When she did, she asked me what my blood sugar was.  I told her they didn't tell me, which was the truth.  That was none of her business, and I had no intention of telling her my blood sugar, of course she would have access to that alphabetical order my chart is kept in as soon as I walked out the door.  However, I didn't intend for her to know from me, as I said, it was none of  her business. Then the doctor's nurse popped her head around the corner, and said, "it was 190."  I like the office nurse very much.  Her husband had worked at the 75th with my husband.  It was then I realized the office manager had thought I was lying about my blood sugar to get in to see the doctor.  People who lie often make the assumption that other people lie.

When my husband called tonight I told him my pitiful story of  ill treatment, and he laughed at me... laughed at me... I love that cajun so, he has the ability to laugh things into submission, and make them seem so less stressful than they were at the time.  Then, as is our custom each night, he began reading our daily devotion.  We do two, Our Daily Bread, and one from Oswald Chambers' book, My Utmost for His Highest.  It was that second one that got me...  You should read it, you can find it at this link:

http://utmost.org/out-of-the-wreck-i-rise/

I have asked for forgiveness of my Father... and I really do dread asking forgiveness of the office manager... but, my utmost for His highest demands it...  In the light of the world tonight, I do not have any real problems.

Out of the Wreck I Rise

Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? —Romans 8:35

God does not keep His child immune from trouble; He promises, “I will be with him in trouble . . .” (Psalm 91:15).

Message to the Extremists of the Middle East

One of the things I am so grateful to God for is the gift of friendship.  Those women in my life whom I can tell anything to, and not worry about whether they will judge me, spread what I have shared as gossip, or in other petty little ways do mean things to me and others.  The kind of women I am talking about are those "salt of the earth" women.  We all know some of them, and if we are lucky, live our lives in their warmth.  I was privileged to call such a woman Mother.   My mother and her sisters have exemplified all that a woman should be before me my whole life   My father, and his sisters too have been such an example before me.  I have a half a dozen of these same kind of remarkable women as friends and  in close proximity to me at present, and I am more aware of the value of their friendship and care everyday.



My desire, and your desire, for we all possess this trait inherited from our Creator, is to know and be known, loved, and accepted.  That is how we are made in His image. No person can escape the fact that they are stamped in God's image.  That doesn't mean that my eyes get their hazel color from the color God's are.  Nor does it mean if we were standing side by side, you would observe that our smiles are just alike.  When God tells us we are made in His image, He is referring to the longing in God that caused Him to create all that He has, to allow our existence and tthe direction of our own lives to us, and to prove to each of us, our greatest need is to love and be loved by God.

That principle of being created in His image is the most profound truth of our existence, in fact of all of creation.  God longed to love and be loved by beings who could choose not to, if they so desired.  God wants to be chosen, He desiredsto be observed, and judged by us as the One and Only God worthy of love and total devotion, Ephesians the third chapter beautifully describes how He desires for us to know Him completely, the height, the width, the breath, and the mystery of all He  is.  It is sometimes difficult for me to think or ponder on that.  I begin to feel and know just a glimmer of what that truth means personally to me, and I feel overwhelmed, and love for My God fills all of me, and I know He is mine, and I am His, and when it comes right down to it, that is all that is needed. 

This concept was accidentally proven in a "scientific" experiment on human beings conducted at the order of King Frederick II of Germany, that went horribly wrong.  The king wanted to determine what language a child would develop in order to communicate with the world, if they never heard the spoken word.  Being that it was the thirteenth century,  and he was king, he, in his wisdom had 50 babies at their births collected and placed them in his experiment.  He assigned foster mothers to meet the physical needs of the babies.  They were to feed them, keep them clean, and keep them from harm, but never to speak to them, not to hold them  for any other thing other than necessity.  No cuddling, and no soft sounds that we mothers mummer instinctively to our babies.  No "This little piggy went to market," no Twinkle, twinkle little star," and certainly no "patty cake," was heard.   There was no rocking, no cuddling, no intentional touch from another that was made out of love.  He never determined the answer to his hypothesis, for all fifty of the babies died.  Medicine now has a name for this phenomenon of human beings, it is called failure to thrive, and the results are always the same when the same kind of conditions that the king ordered are present.   Human beings, like their Creator must have love.  That beautiful simple statement from the Bible contains the mystery and message of the Universe at its core, "God is love."











Going back to the attributes of God, He is all knowing, and that is a concept that is so profound to us in our limitations, and that is the reason people often question God's love.  Usually there is loss and suffering of some kind associated with this questioning of God's love.  Hurricanes, deadly diseases like cancer, and things like acts of terrorism against your own countrymen are thrown up at God and the question asked, how could a loving God allow such a thing?  There is truth in the question, for nothing happens that God does not allow, but He sees through to eternity, and proclaims to all beings of free will, one day His demonstration of the love will be complete, and all things which bring pain or disappointment, or rob us from our joy will be done away with.  We will no longer bear the separation  pain of death, and we will live forever in His presence and in His love, and with complete and pure love for one another.  Think about what that will solve. 

So many people have the idea that God is trying to fix a mistake He made.  That once Satan decided, "I will make myself like the Most High," and ditched God, convincing one third of the angels to go with him, He had to come up with a plan.  They think God had to figure out how to redeem all those who would choose to love and serve Him.  What God has done in creation is much more filled with amazing love than that!  God knew before He ever put together two molecules of anything exactly what would happen.   For the attributes of God include being all knowing.  He knows what your day is going to be like today, he knows where all the suicide bombers are, and who they will kill today.  He knows every sparrow that will fall and die today.  He knew of course. that Satan would rebel, and consider himself above God.  He knew too that when He put Adam and Eve in the garden and admonished them that they could eat from all the other trees, but not from this one special tree, that they were destined for failure.  However, He also can see out into eternity, what His plan will ultimately bring, and He has declared, you are worth the sacrifice.  As C.S, Lewis said, "You are a soul, you have a body."   Each of us will exist somewhere forever.  For as surely as there is a home waiting for the faithful sons and daughters of God, and the faithful angels of heaven, there is the place of ultimate and forever separation from God, for the only way to rid the Universe of sin, which is denying God's leadership, is to separate those who will not accept that leadership to the "blackness of darkness, forever."

In creating choice, for that is the only love that is satisfying to God or man.   Just ask anyone trapped in a marriage where the couple stays together for the children, or the mate of a cheating spouse, or a child who disrespects the direction of their earthly father, or the celebrity surrounded by people paying them homepage, for what is really loved is their fame, their  talent, and not the person.  There is only one love that is satisfying.  That is the love that is given freely and unconditionally,  for love cannot be forced, only won as we come to know  God fully.  We have to come, as described in Ephesians, into a personal relationship with Him.  That is the desired relationship that compelled God to create all  He did, in the complete knowledge of all that Satan, the fallen angels, and mankind would bring upon His Creation.

God is Holy and Just, He doesn't cheat or play favorites, and He will not look upon sin, or fail to act in complete justice.  The plan that God devised to redeem all who would choose love Him, and make Him King of their lives, was to offer His Perfect Son, to take the punishment due to each sinner.  As the Bible says, we are all sinners, born in sin, with the instinct present at birth.  The gift of salvation and redemption, was paid by God Himself, and because I personally have accepted that gift, and struggle daily to follow where He leads, I am His Forever Daughter. I attempt everyday to demonstrate the love of God, and I still fail, but as a Sunday School teacher taught me, it is an accident born of my human beingness, not a way of life.  By His love and grace, I who am so unworthy, I who fail so much, am pure and holy before my God, for the blood of Jesus Christ has washed me whiter than snow.


This I know of God, He is mighty in power and glory, no individual, no army,  nor any idea can prevail against Him.  Nothing, no video, no weapon, no blasphemy against Him. can overcome Him.  I see His glory and power all the time, and give testimony to what I have seen God do.  Nothing is out of His power, and He needs no man to defend Him.  He breathed the entire Universe into existence, and continues still today to create.  He can take out anyone or anything which stands against Him with that same breath.  He never loses a battle.  He has instructed us how we are to promote Him in this world before non-believers.  The instructions do not tell us to make war, to murder, or to torture.   We are not to brow beat either.  His directions are so simple, so concise, and understandable by all.  "Thou shalt love the Lord thy God, with all your heart, with all your soul, with all thy strength, and with all thy mind."  That is the desire of God from His children, and He follows that with the second requirement, "and to love our neighbors as ourselves."  God says, "If I be lifted up, I will draw all men unto me."  We are to share the truth of His love, tell who He is, and He will draw hearts to  Himself.  He will not do it by force, it will be by His love, and by the convert's free will and choice.

God further clarifies that love we are to have,  by describing who our neighbor is.  Tomorrow I will tell you who my neighbors are, but now I have to get busy and go about lifting Him up, and loving my neighbors.  This post is part of my fulfillment to God's command, and if you find your way to this post here today, it is at God's personal invitation, sent to your heart by His Holy Spirit, speaking in the Still, Small, Voice, and He is calling directly to you in His love.

This Guy is Naming Names!

This article demands that every thinking American read the book!  In fact this book is a look into the mistakes made in the pursuit of peace and security for all the countries of the world.  On my way to purchase my copy of The End Game.

http://www.foreignpolicy.com/articles/2012/09/24/the_iraq_red_team