From the Ranch

From the Ranch

Wednesday, December 12, 2012

MAN DOWN!!! MAN DOWN!!! HELP!!!


Help, I'm over the edge!!!  I never intended to go there... when they say things are a slippery slope... they aren't just blowing smoke!  I despise reality TV shows which are about the housewives of anything.  It is wrong to take advantage of women who seem to gather because of a shared genetic disorder which makes their lips puff up in some constant sort of allergic reaction, and it affects their speech as well, they can barely talk.  They obviously have mental health issues, and their money can't buy them happiness.  I feel guilty that these poor exotic creatures with their deformed lips and brain damage due to peroxide poisoning are being exploited.`Of course I guess the argument could  always be made how else would they support themselves, other than marrying wealthy men, inventing alcoholic drinks for their own kind, or finding football players, if they didn't have these TV shows?  However, I have always felt no need to personally support their endeavors, and had episodes of involuntary retching when I tried to watch.  

One particular episode I did watch of the Housewives from Atlanta made me so fighting mad I didn't sleep for three weeks, I found it so insulting.  In this particular peep into one of the housewives home dramas, her football boyfriend was leaving for summer training camp.  Bear in mind it was held in Atlanta, where they live, and it was NFL training camp.  He was a phone call away.  Though arguably he could have sustained an injury, the pay check would probably more than compensate for the "danger" of summer training camp.  They blubbered, moaned and groaned, felt their world might end, and didn't know if all the household help could possibly carry on their lives for them in the absence of the boyfriend.  I wanted to meet her somewhere, snatch that nasty wig off her head, and let some air into that brain...  I wanted to shout, "You idiot, don't go on TV where surely some of the women of this country who see their men off to war might not be able to control themselves after watching your very pathetic and selfish sob story.  They might mass in your front yard and teach you a lesson about men leaving home for noble purposes.  Without exception I scorned all of the "reality" shows, well I did like the one where the guys bought things out of abandoned storage units.  That is pretty cool and probably fairly "real."  Still I could take it or leave it.


Then came Honey Boo Boo Child.  I truly abhor the idea of Toddlers and Tiaras.  What exploitation and sexualization of our nation's children.  Very honestly I thought that in every case this pageant circuit, which is unlike the "cutest baby" type contests, should be banded.  With the wigs, spray tans, make-up, false eyelashes, and mega-expensive outfits which look more like hooker costumes, than little girl's "dressy dresses", I felt Child Protective Services should be alerted.  The first exposure I had to Honey Boo Boo Child was when Dr. Phil was interviewing  Honey Boo Boo and her mother and focusing on the "go go juice."  I was appalled.  Apparently when Honey Boo Boo is going to participate in a pageant, she is given a "drink" to bring up her energy level.  Half Red Bull, and half Mountain Dew, it is a caffeine overdose for a child.  Then I saw clips here and there of her "relatives...."  I began to think the whole family was being exploited.  In the clips I caught, I decided that probably if the IQ's of every adult in the family were added together you couldn't come up with a triple digit number.  The popularity of Here Comes Honey Boo Boo seemed to grow daily.  I began feeling that indignation again, and publicly made fun of the show, asking friends, "what are people thinking, how can they watch and support this?"  

I have never been a person to admire entertainers anyway, not even as a young person.  I like music by entertainers, movies entertain me on occasion, and some sporting events with the famous athletes are entertaining to me, but those who do the entertaining have never been anything more than just entertainers, and I could always take or leave any show, movie, or such.
257766_Goedeker's Overstock Appliances 125x125
Not realizing the  danger, the potential, I started looking at little clips here and there.  I am in very big trouble now.  Honey Boo Boo Child is quite possibly the most beautiful soul I have ever stumbled across.  True, manners are not her strong suit, the entire family has a style and etiquette form all their own.  Mother Boo Boo doesn't think women of generous size should dress in skimpy outfits, where their "jingle jangle" is flaunted, a sentiment I too share, but we are worlds apart concerning decorum.  Bodily functions are not a topic that I was taught are for public consumption.  Many of the discussions and the topics of discussion, conducted by the family, make me cringe.  My mother taught us to never use the word pregnant in public.  We were to use the word "expecting" when describing a woman with child.  So our two families comes from different places in the universe.  That is just the way we were raised.  The phrase "shut up" would get you a whipping in a New York minute.

But in watching the adults of the series, I was exposed to that darling little girl.  She is so full of wonder, generosity, confidence, and exuberance for life.  She isn't egotistical at all, just confident, secure in who she is, her looks, and her intelligence, and by the way, she is intelligent, so is that mother of hers.  She is accepting of others, and so loving.  I saw her on Jimmy Kimmel where she was talking about the new baby her teenage unmarried sister just had.  She exclaimed, "that's my baby!"  You would think a child so indulged would resent a "new baby" coming into the house, not so.  Complete delight and love passed over her countenance as she spoke of the new baby.  When she was asked about each of her families' nick names, her sweetness and affection for each of her family members came shining through.  When asked why her dad was called "Sugar Bear," she replied, "that's easy, he's sweet, and like a big old bear."  She never is without a reply to all the questions asked her by cunning adult interviewers She will often pause, put her chubby little finger along side her darling little cheek, and reflect before she gives her answer, but she always comes back with an intelligent reply, which is guileless and pure of heart in its' content.

Honey Boo Boo Child realizes that money makes the world go around, and life is better if you work hard and have it.  She is willing to make lemonade, and market hard, selling it in order to participate in her pageantsShe very obviously loves participating in the pageants, and takes losing with a grain of salt, and relishes taking a win.  In all, there seems to be a healthy attitude about the whole thing.  Right about here in my discovery of just who Honey Boo Boo Child is, I fell in love with this beautiful little child  I don't know where she will end up in life, but I do pray that her heart will carry her in the right direction, regardless of the instruction and direction she receives from the adults around her, and those who are marketing her charms.  It is totally wrong to market the charms of a little girl because adults love money, and all it can buy, but I do so want to watch...  Oh my... I'm in trouble...

Honey Boo Boo Child doesn't need go go juice.  She is so beguiling, so beautiful inside and out, so non-conforming to what society says we must all embrace in order to be acceptable.  Point is... I can't stop watching...  Everything I can find her on the computer, on TV,  it doesn't matter, my dialing fingers just find her all by themselves now.  I would buy tickets, beg for an autograph, and drive 500 miles to see her in person.  What am I saying????  She is going to be on Barbara Walter's special tonight on The Ten Most Interesting People of 2012 I can't wait.  I have invited Janet down to watch with me.  Have I said I am in big trouble here yet???

If any of you, my dear friends, decide to do the needed intervention to bring me back from the brink, whatever you do, do not look directly into the television set... or you will be gone too...  Now how long is it until eight o'clock?