Tuesday, May 21, 2013
I Behaved Very Badly Today
I behaved badly today, very badly... and the worse part was, I did not regret it, so I was in real trouble with the Lord. I called her a bi..ch, right out loud in public. I have never in my life done that... but it was the last straw, and a situation where I knew I was going to mistreated before I went in the office. I have had many difficulties in that office.
I need to give you a little background of where I have been in my personal life in the last ten days. I found out it will be another year before I will live with my husband again. It has already been four years since he deployed with the United States Army, spent two years in the Middle East with that organization, and then went to work with the State Department in the same country. No woman ever loved a man as much as I love him. Yet I know he is the man for the job.
I am newly diagnosed with diabetes just this week, (that explains a lot about why I have been feeling so badly.) Even with double my blood pressure medication, I have been running 180 over 100,... not good, it usually runs 110 over 70. One of our credit card numbers was stolen, and it was so stressful to straighten that out. I had to postpone my hand surgery because of the diabetes. I really need that done, I am sustaining nerve damage, and my hands are very important to me. Not to mention, I can no longer tear open a ketchup package, not that I can have ketchup any more. I have to have plastic joints put in to replace those eaten away by the inflammation of Ankylosing Spondylitis, plus steel cables to replace the stretched out ligaments and tendons, carpel tunnel repair, and a cyst drained. Periodically I am spiking a temp of about 100, and I have no explanation for that. I had a wreck and I am without a vehicle, and someone came on our property while I was out of town and stole things, and I think they took my dog, and that was why it took her 12 days to get back home. She isn't in good shape. I still haven't gotten the bath tub that the John Moore company installed, installed properly, nor the sink installed, (by the way, there is no John Moore.) I have already paid for this. They really messed up the expensive bath tub and tub surround I bought and paid for. I stepped on a rose bush branch I had trimmed yesterday while I was barefoot taking out the trash, and I needed to have three thorns dug out of my left foot. They have been bombing the country my husband is in non stop... many are dead, and many are injured; this is a tremendous stress to me.
I had to arrange for a ride to the doctor's office when it was convenient for my friend to provide it, and so at about 4:30 I arrived at my physician's, which advertizes its' hours as being 8:00 am until 5:00 pm. I needed to get my blood sugar tested and a medication change for the blood pressure, diabetic medication, and the three thorns dug out of the bottom of my foot. That was when the trouble began with the office manager. I always have problems from this office manager, and I am a laid back kind of person. I know you all know the type of woman I am speaking of. She is in charge of a small empire, and she knows it.
When I arrived the waiting room was empty and I spoke to the woman at the desk. I asked if the doctor was still there, she replied yes. I told her I wanted to see the doctor, and she asked me why. I told her about the blood sugar problems and and the thorns. She asked me what the blood sugars were. I told her 301 fasting this morning and 190 at 1:00 pm after lunch. She wrote the numbers down on a sticky note and disappeared with the announcement, "just a moment please."
I went and sat down, because just getting ready, and then to the appointment had exhausted me. The prim short haired woman with glasses who is the office manager called me to the window. She repeated the questions about the blood sugar. I repeated the answers. She then asked me why I didn't come earlier, and I explained the car situation. She then said, "Well, why didn't you not call us at 1:00 pm?" That was when she made my day... and I messed up... I asked her, "Why, were you going to send an ambulance for me?" She said, "No, we would have gotten your chart out and had it ready when you got here." I restrained myself from asking, "Don't you have them in alphabetical order?" She told me the doctor had someplace he was going today and had to be out of the office on time. I told her I would go to the emergency room. She then began insisting no, I would be seen, and the Grand Empress pushed the button opening the door, and granted me access to her Wizard.
When I saw the doctor I insisted on telling him what had happened. He really didn't want to hear it, but I insisted. I screamed like a little girl, and bawled like a child when he used the 10 gauge needle to dig out the thorns out of the bottom of my foot, probably in revenge for my calling his office manager a "bi.ch." I apologized to the doctor for keeping him when he had somewhere he was going. He told me he wasn't going anywhere but to the hospital to make rounds, and then home. Ah ha! I despise lying, really despise it!
When I went to leave the office manager checked me out. When she did, she asked me what my blood sugar was. I told her they didn't tell me, which was the truth. That was none of her business, and I had no intention of telling her my blood sugar, of course she would have access to that alphabetical order my chart is kept in as soon as I walked out the door. However, I didn't intend for her to know from me, as I said, it was none of her business. Then the doctor's nurse popped her head around the corner, and said, "it was 190." I like the office nurse very much. Her husband had worked at the 75th with my husband. It was then I realized the office manager had thought I was lying about my blood sugar to get in to see the doctor. People who lie often make the assumption that other people lie.
When my husband called tonight I told him my pitiful story of ill treatment, and he laughed at me... laughed at me... I love that cajun so, he has the ability to laugh things into submission, and make them seem so less stressful than they were at the time. Then, as is our custom each night, he began reading our daily devotion. We do two, Our Daily Bread, and one from Oswald Chambers' book, My Utmost for His Highest. It was that second one that got me... You should read it, you can find it at this link:
I have asked for forgiveness of my Father... and I really do dread asking forgiveness of the office manager... but, my utmost for His highest demands it... In the light of the world tonight, I do not have any real problems.