I have recorded before, I love facebook. I love it because of the very special people it has brought to my life. I had an exchange of some length today with one of those new friends. I had first befriended her because of her talent. I saw the cakes she bakes, oh how I love cake! I really need a twelve step program concerning my appreciation of cake... if I start, I am likely to eat a whole cake in a day. As I often say, we all have our Achilles Heel.
On her facebook page today, she had yet another beautiful talent on display, and I began exchanging "posts" with her, then one on one messages as I began suggesting to her that she do a blog. (I can't wait for this blog to be birthed!) Then part of her life story began to pour from her heart. I am rich to have been the one who received it. I asked her permission to place here our exchanges, her words will lift and inspire you. All words that lift and inspire should be passed on if at all possible, I had known before I asked she would say yes. Here for each of you are words that will not fail to touch your soul. There are messages in them for someone somewhere who feels God doesn't see, or if He does, He doesn't care. He is going to prove you wrong as you read these words, for you are going to know, they are for you, from Him.
From my friend:
I absolutely LOVED the donkey story...it's my fav!!! =} I've never thought about anything like the blog thing....because I never knew it worked like that. I want a cake shop so bad I can taste it but I had 3 spine surgeries 2 1/2 years ago and developed a brain infection I was not expected to survive...but I did by the grace of God! During all of that they discovered a tumor in my hip that will eventually break my hip and require me to have it replaced. I knew something was wrong because it hurt so much but I never had it checked out. I said all of that to say....I want a shop...but I'm scared I can't physcially handle it. I have thought about teaching classes for it....I had a pastry chef at one of the venues I delivered one of my cakes ask to apprentice with me which is what gave me the idea of teaching....but I'm a hands-on kind of girl...I love to create!!! I am limited in my movements now and do most of my work sitting in a rolling chair. I had never baked a cake until 17 months ago....I had to find something to keep my mind busy or I was going to go crazy. I know (somewhat) how the guys suffering from PTSD feel. I have had to seek therapy for my illness...I was a very active out-going person until my surgeon tried to kill me...and then blamed me at every turn (we did seek legal counsel but it is next to impossible to make a doctor be accountable when he hides information) so...I harbor much anger for him....if he had only listened to me and not called me names when I tried to tell him something was wrong with me I wouldn't have gone on to have 2 more surgeries and have bathroom scum growing in my brain. I spent 3 weeks in the hospital and had a port sewn into my chest where for 45 days my husband gave me 9 injections a day trying to save my life. For 5 months I couldn't even turn my own body over in my bed. I wanted....needed for him (the doctor) to carry his share of the burden he had created thru neglect...I carry mine daily!!! I'm sorry...I'm rambling. Thank you for letting me know about the blog...hopefully I can look into it and who knows where it could go???? =}
From me to my friend:
Wow... what a story, and how God works in people's lives... God hears and knows the cries of your heart... what a story... please may I post what you have written to my blog without any identifiable info... you would encourage and inspire so many who are at a despairing place... so many Soldiers come home so broken, inside and out... and your words about wanting... needing the doctor to carry his share, and if he had only listened... how they will ring with Soldiers with PTSD..... For them just to know that you made it... and if you think it is difficult to hold that doctor accountable... think of trying with the Army.... type girl.... type.... you will get your shop, and an employee to run it when you need to rest....
What powerful words... I can't stop re-reading them.... and not a word of that was rambling.... it was all magnificent!
Of course you may share my story....sharing it is in a way therapy for me. I remember at first after it happened being scared to death...and the depression that came with the illness it's self and the depression the medications (I will have to take for the rest of my life) cause...I went thru some very dark days...even months...truth be told if I think on it very much I can still be drawn back into the depths of it. I felt like, if this is all my life will be from here on out...do I really want to be here? I know it takes having something to hold onto to pull yourself back out of the grips of depression....for me....it was my son. He is mentally retarded and has been my shadow all his life. One day I had gotten my husband to wheel my wheelchair out onto the patio and he forgot to come back and get me before it started getting dark. One side of our house has french doors down it and I could see my son going from room to room looking for me....I thought right then....Lord please help me....I need to be the Mom he's looking for! Without a doubt my strength and determination was renewed at that moment because the Lord believes in me! I have come a million miles since that day....I know I have many more to go but that's ok because I know I am loved!!! =}
I never would have had any idea that my friend had any struggles in her life from all I have read and seen on her pages on facebook. She is a remarkable woman as you can see from her words, with so much for each of us to draw strength from. She will never know, this side of heaven, what she did for me today. Each of us struggle in some way, God allows it. He is composed of nothing but love for each of us, and never gives us a stone when we ask for bread. In our struggles are found His love, grace, power, and glory, all we have to do to experience and have access to all these things, is glimpse whoever it is running from room to room looking for us. Thank you, Father God, for this blessing I know to be from Your hand.